The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc - * *

Luc Besson directs this biopic from his own script. Milla Jovovich stars as Joan of Arc in this historical epic. John Malkovich, Faye Dunaway, Dustin Hoffman, Vincent Cassel, Thcheky Karyo, Pascal Greggory, Richard Ridings, Timothy West and Desmond Harrington will also star. Not to be confused with Ron Maxwell’s Joan of Arc: The Virgin Warrior.

Capsule Review: Much more surrealistic than the typical sword-and-grime battle drama. Jovovich handles a tough role better than your average supermodel, but she never quite conveys the enigma that is Joan. Good supporting performances help out, particularly from Faye Dunaway and Dustin Hoffman. But in the end, this is just an overlong and unsuccessful mimic of Braveheart.

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Dogma - * * 1/2*

Dogma

Kevin Smith directs this religious comedy about an abortion clinic worker (Linda Fiorentino) who teams up with two holy men, Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith) to save humanity. It seems that two renegade angels (Matt Damon and Ben Affleck), who have been cast out of heaven, find a loophole which will allow them back in (a loophole that will happen to unmake all of creation). Chris Rock appears as the forgotten 13th apostle, kicked out of heaven for claiming Jesus was black. Alan Rickman will play The Voice of God (while Alanis Morisette plays God herself), Jason Lee will play the demon Azrael, and Salma Hayek will play the muse Serendipity. George Carlin, Dwight Ewell, Janeane Garofalo and Brian O’Halloran also appear.

Capsule Review: Certainly provocative, Kevin Smith’s religious satire alternates between moments of brilliance and painful sections that just don’t work. It’s certainly a talky film, but unlike Smith’s previous efforts, most of the conversation this time is lengthy exposition. The casting is inspired (except for the misstep of overextending Jay and Silent Bob), but few of the cast members seem to be…much of the acting is oddly wooden.

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Anywhere But Here - * * 1/2*

Wayne Wang directs this drama about a 14-year old girl (Natalie Portman) and her mother (Susan Sarandon) who move from the midwest to LA. Based on Mona Simpson’s novel. Shawn Hatosy also stars as Portman’s cousin. Hart Bochner will play an orthodontist who gets involved with Sarandon. Ashley Johnson, and Bonnie Bedelia also star.

Capsule Review: Good turns by Sarandon and Portman bolster this mother-daughter drama. Touching, yet slightly predictable, Anywhere But Here is an entertaining, yet not overly memorable film.

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Pokemon: The First Movie - * *

Pokemon: The First Movie

An animated Pokemon (Pocket Monsters) film. For those in the know, this one involves a clone of the ancient Pokemon Mew, who lashes out against his creators and seeks to control the Pokemon universe with an army of clones. It’s up to Ash, and his faithful Pokemon Pikachu, to save the day. Includes the short, Pikachu’s Vacation. Previously titled Pokemon the Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back.

Capsule Review: The short and simple of it is: kids who are addicted to Pokemon will like the movie. Parents (and unfortunate others) who can stomach this endless advertisment will discover the film isn’t as horrible as it could have been. The animation is crude, and there’s certainly not much depth to the storyline or the characters. The attempts to tag a “fighting is bad” moral message to the end of this nonstop fighting movie fail miserably. And why does the tag “The First Movie” seem like an ill omen?

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The Insider - * * *

Michael Mann directs this drama about Jeffrey Wigand (Russell Crowe), a tobacco executive who turned whistle blower. Al Pacino will play 60 Minutes producer Lowell Bergman, and Lindsay Crouse will play journalist Sharon Bergman. Diane Venora, Christopher Plummer, Rip Torn, Gina Gershon, Bruce McGill, Stephen Tobolowsky, and Hallie Kate Eisenberg also star. Eric Roth wrote the screenplay based on a Vanity Fair article. Previously titled Man of the People.

Capsule Review: For a drama with no real surprises, The Insider proves to be amazingly suspensful. Both Crowe and Pacino give standup performances, but it’s Christopher Plummer who steals his scenes as the journalist, Mike Wallace. The drama starts to creak a bit in it’s third hour, but never wears out its welcome.

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The Bone Collector - * 1/2*

Ever since Hannibal Lecter energized the screen in Silence of the Lambs, or perhaps ever since Norman Bates appeared in Psycho, Hollywood has had a morbid fascination with the serial killer. This strange affair has created several great films (such as the above), but most efforts are absolute failures. The Bone Collector, despite a great cast, fails to breathe new life into a failing genre.

Lincoln Rhyme (Denzel Washington) was New York City’s finest forensic investigator. That was until he was paralyzed by a falling beam while investigating a crime scene. Now, four years later, Lincoln can move his head, shoulders, and one finger. Though still on the police roster, it is in name only, as he is confined to his bed, under the care of watchful nurse Thelma (Queen Latifah).

A new serial killer prowls the streets of New York. Amelia Donaghy (Angelina Jolie), a supermodel turned street cop (yep, you read that right…), discovers the ritualized slaying of one of New York’s most prominent businessmen. In response, the cops turn to Lincoln for assistance.

Amazed by Amelia’s spunk, and trusting of her instincts, Lincoln decides to help, on the condition that Amelia act as his eyes and ears as lead investigator. Naturally, this rankles some of the cops, particularly Captain Howard Cheney (Michael Rooker), who, threatened by both Lincoln and Amelia, struggles internally to undermine their work.

The Bone Collector is desperate to be the next Silence of the Lambs, or the next Seven…and that desperation shows. The film is jam-packed with stylistic shots and technical forensic jargon. But in the end, this largely derivative work just doesn’t make sense.

On the plus side, this is truly a stellar cast. Washington has the plum role. He creates a living, three-dimensional character, despite having a limited pallette of movement (in fact, the film overcompensates at the end by giving him a bit too much to do). Angelina Jolie tries to emulate Jodie Foster, as best as she can behind her swollen, bee-stung lips. The amazing thing is she’s remarkably effective, creating a sympathetic, yet tough, character. But the true stars come out on the supporting side, with Queen Latifah and Luis Guzman both delivering stellar performances.

Unfortunately, when it comes to the plot, The Bone Collector isn’t as strong. In fact, the plot is downright pathetic. Adapted from the novel by Jeffrey Deaver, The Bone Collector acts smart, but it’s all a sham. Little in the film flows naturally, rather most events seem sprung from a writer’s desperate mind.

Whereas the forensic work in the movie strives for realism, the serial killer seems like a mad hybrid of The Riddler and a bad James Bond villain. When the film finally gets around to explaining his motivation, you’re apt to be scratching your head. The film takes great pains to make the killer’s identity a secret until the end, but it doesn’t take much work at all to spot the bad guy right off the bat (particularly if you are familiar with the names in the credits).

The Bone Collector possesses a few thrills…mostly of the grisly variety. Both the killings and the forensic work afterwards are sensationalized in their violence and gory details. Though nothing resonates enough to be truly disturbing, there are plenty of scenes to make the squeamish turn their heads.

If serial killer movies are your cup of tea, you will find some things to enjoy in The Bone Collector. But the film isn’t worthy enough to be mentioned in the same breath as Silence of the Lambs, and it will perplex and disappoint many.

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The Bachelor - *

Updated version of Buster Keaton’s movie Seven Chances. A proud-to-be-a bachelor (Chris O’Donnell) will inherit $120 million from his grandfather if he is married by his 33rd birthday (which happens to be tomorrow). Renee Zellweger also stars as his long-time girlfriend, who gets suspicious of his sudden desire for commitment. James Cromwell plays a priest who is enlisted to marry the couple. Marley Shelton, Artie Lange, Stacey Edwards, Brooke Shields, Jennifer Esposito and Sarah Silverman also star. Mariah Carey has a cameo. Gary Sinyor directs from Steve Cohen’s script.

Capsule Review: A very tired one joke comedy that ends up searching for laughs. Chris O’Donnell and Renee Zellweger have been appealing before, but all of that charm is missing here.

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Princess Mononoke - * * * 1/2*

Also known as The Phantom Princess. This animated film has become Japan’s highest grossing movie. A prince, searching for a cure for a deadly wound, stumbles upon a battle between nature and an iron-mining town. A human girl (voiced by Claire Danes) who can communicate with the nature spirits (Princess Mononoke) leads the battle for nature. Other voices will be provided by Minnie Driver (Eboshi), Gillian Anderson (Moro), Billy Bob Thornton and Billy Crudup.

Capsule Review: Brilliantly drawn, this beautiful story is much more complex (and confusing) than typical American animated fare. Not for the very young, The Princess Mononoke can be stunningly violent at times. But for fans of animation, this is a must see.

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Being John Malkovich - * * * 1/2*

Being John Malkovich

Spike Jonze directs this dark comedy about a puppeteer (John Cusack) who discovers the ability to enter the mind of John Malkovich (John Malkovich) for 15 minutes at a time. Catherine Keener will play a love interest of both characters, and Cameron Diaz will portray Cusack’s dumpy wife. Orson Bean, W. Earl Brown and Mary Kay Place will also star.

Capsule Review: As strange as that plot description sounds, the movie only gets stranger from there. I doubt I’ll see a more unusual, or more inventive film this year. The cast is uniformly good, and kudos go to Spike Jonze for making a truly bizarre subject fascinating. My only complaint is that the characters constantly flip-flop back and forth between being extremely sympathetic and utterly horrific.

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House on Haunted Hill - * 1/2*

The second of this year’s haunted house movies (following the lackluster The Haunting), House on Haunted Hill proves mildly thrilling, but ends up fatally flawed.

Steven Price (Geoffrey Rush) is the millionaire master of horror. An amusement park king who makes life-and-death thrills his life’s goal, Price has found a new deadly game. For the birthday of his despised trophy wife, Evelyn (Famke Janssen), he decides to hold a deadly party in the House on Haunted Hill.

The House, as it is known, used to be an asylum in the 1930s. The evil Dr. Vannacutt (Jeffrey Combs) used the inmates as test subjects for his sickening and deadly medical experiments. His career was ended when the inmates rebelled, and nearly everyone in the asylum was killed in a devastating fire. But the House has remained haunted by their spirits ever since.

Now, an ecclectic group of party guests are summoned by Price to the House. There’s a baseball player (Taye Diggs), a movie producer (Ali Larter), an TV reporter (Bridgette Wilson), a doctor (Peter Gallagher), and the nervous descendant of the house’s former owner (Chris Kattan). Price offers the guests an interesting deal: survive the night, and collect $1,000,000 in cash. However, the task will prove more difficult than anyone (including Price) knows.

Though endlessly cheesy, The House on Haunted Hill actually starts out entertainingly. Starting with a gimmicky, but thrilling, teaser, the film’s haunted house scares up plenty of thrills. The jerky stop-motion movement of the ghosts is creepy and eerie, despite being one of the film’s cheaper effects.

However, two thirds of the way through the film, things veer sharply off course. Deciding that homicidal ghosts weren’t nearly deadly enough, House on Haunted Hill unleashes a new all-powerful monster that makes little sense. The fragile sense of suspense and terror is instantly shattered, and the film corrodes into an inky blot.

Half of the fun in these movies is picking a favorite character and rooting for him/her to be the last left standing. In House on Haunted Hill, it’s trivially easy to figure out who is going to survive the night. That only leaves the lesser thrill of seeing the “unique” death situations…something which quickly turns monotonous.

The cast is more talented than your typical horror show ensemble. Despite being saddled with weak dialogue and weaker characters, they display a range of personalities, many of which are enjoyable. Chris Kattan and Geoffrey Rush particularly stand out, providing plenty of humor and showmanship.

House on Haunted Hill is by no means a great film. It’s barely a mediocre film. But, if you’re in the mood for a few scares, you’ll find some inside.

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