Sliding Doors - * * 1/2*

Sliding Doors

Chaos mathematicians have studied a phenomena called “the butterfly effect”, in which a single butterfly flapping its wings can cause tremendous shifts of weather half a world away. The unpredictable effects of a relatively minor change are also explored in Sliding Doors, which shows how a seemingly insignificant event can have drastic effects.

Helen (Gwyneth Paltrow) is a public relations executive whose life is starting to fall apart on one fateful day. She just lost her job, and, on her way back home, she narrowly misses catching her train in the London underground…or does she.

At this point, the movie splits in two, alternating back and forth between two different worlds: one in which Helen caught the train, and the other in which she narrowly missed it. It’s one minor difference, but the effects spiral away in completely different directions.

In the world where she catches the train, she arrives home in time to catch her boyfriend, Gerry (John Lynch), in the middle of an affair with another woman (Jeanne Tripplehorn). Yet, as traumatic as this seems at first, it makes her a stronger woman, as she pursues a new career, and a new life with a new love, James (John Hannah).

However, when she missed the train, her life turns out radically different. Gerry continues his affair with Lydia, unbeknownst to Helen, who, in the meantime, is forced to work multiple menial jobs to support the two of them.

Although the parallel storylines might seem somewhat confusing at first, especially to someone who is unprepared for the premise of the film, the filmmakers do an admirable job at reducing the inherent confusion. Each Helen is marked in an identifiable way (first with a bandage, and then later with differing hairstyles) so the confusion is kept to a happy minimum.

Once confusion is laid to rest, the biggest problem with running parallel storylines like this is that one of the storylines might easily overpower the other. This is somewhat the case here, but it never becomes an outright disaster. The “catches-the-train” Helen has the more vibrant of the two plots, and though the other Helen might get more pity, there’s no question of which one we’d like to spend the time with. The trouble is each storyline gets roughly equal time, which means you spend half the movie waiting for the other half.

Paltrow manages the double role well, proving that her recent doldrum has been the result of poor material rather than a lack of talent. Of the two male leads, John Lynch actually comes out on top (even though he’s playing the shadier of the two men). John Hannah just doesn’t have that much to work with, playing a Mr. Right.

Sliding Doors deserves points for being original. However, an unfortunate side effect of its split perspective is repetition. One crucial plot point actually happens four separate times (nearly becoming an unintentional running gag). And (magical musical chimes aside) there’s never an explanation for the parallel stories. Perhaps it’s just a mental exercise for the audience…anyhow, an ending revelation nearly makes the whole thing pointless.

Still, the movie is enjoyable, and what more do you want from a romantic comedy?

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Suicide Kings - * 1/2*

Kidnapping thrillers seem to be the rage these days, and Suicide Kings is a film that’s so eager to join the trend that it has not just one, but two! But more doesn’t necessarily equate to better, and the only thing that holds the film together is a rock solid performance by Christopher Walken.

Rich student Avery Chasten (Henry Thomas) has a problem that his friends are trying to help him solve. His sister, Lisa (Laura T. Harris), has been kidnapped by some goons who are demanding $2 million in ransom. Avery’s dad doesn’t have that kind of liquid cash, so Avery’s pal Brett Campbell (Jay Mohr) has come up with this brilliant scheme: kidnap mafia don Charlie Barrett (Christopher Walken), aka Carlo Bartolucci, and force him to pay the ransom.

Assisting Avery and Brett in this crime are Lisa’s boyfriend Max Minot (Sean Patrick Flannery), med student T.K. (Jeremy Sisto), and the constantly worrying Ira Reder (Johnny Galecki). Meanwhile, Charlie’s hitman/driver Lono (Denis Leary) is on his boss’ trail.

The first thing that jumps out at you about Suicide Kings is its ridiculous premise. What type of brain-dead scheme is this? I mean, are we supposed to believe that the characters fully expect Charlie to pay $2 million and forget about it? True, this is supposed to be a last-ditch effort, but the “Suicide” in the title would be a simpler way out.

But, incredulous premise aside, Suicide Kings hums when Christopher Walken is onscreen. Even though he spends most of the movie taped to a chair, he’s still the strongest presence in the room. The mental games he plays with his five kidnappers are intensely interesting, and nearly make the movie worthwhile.

Of the five kidnappers, the only one who nearly holds his own against Walken is, surprisingly, Jay Mohr (if only he launched into his superb Walken impersonation…). That’s not to say that the other four do a bad job, but they all seem to wither when next to an actor of Walken’s caliber.

Unfortunately, the movie retreats from its main story too often. Each character seemingly has one story to tell, and as the movie mechanically plods along, he tells it (usually in some sort of contrived one-on-one with Charlie). But not one of these digressions is either entertaining or interesting. Even the usually lively Denis Leary is subdued and bland in his wandering subplot (which never makes that much sense).

The film’s climax does contain a few good twists, but nothing an observant viewer shouldn’t expect. However, the ultimate resolution of those twists is disappointing.

“Disappointing” is a word that is apt to describe the whole film as well. Walken gives a terrific performance, and it’s too bad he’s duct taped to the rest of the film like Charlie to the chair.

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The Object of My Affection - * *

What do you expect when the most romantic film relationship in 1997 was between the straight Julia Roberts and the gay Rupert Everett in My Best Friend’s Wedding? The answer: The Object of My Affection, a romantic drama that tries to show what happens when a straight woman and a gay man become more than friends…

Jennifer Aniston stars as Nina Borowski, a social worker in a local community center. Her stepsister, Constance (Allison Janney), married to a rich literary agent, Sidney Miller (Alan Alda), disapproves of Nina’s life and her lawyer boyfriend, Vince (John Pankow).

Enter George Hanson (Paul Rudd), the first grade teacher of Constance and Sidney’s little girl. He has just broken up with his lover, Dr. Robert Joley (Timothy Daly), and needs a place to stay. Nina thinks he would make a perfect apartment-mate…and sooner than you think, the two are best of friends, even taking ballroom dancing lessons at the local community center.

Needless to say, this unique arrangement doesn’t sit well with Vince or Constance. And things only get worse when Nina starts falling in love with George…a love he can’t return.

The Object of My Affection straddles the gap between romantic comedy and romantic drama. Its non-traditional romance ends up being more cute than funny, and the dramatic weight of the situation is undercut by one too many romantic clichés.

The gay/straight romantic relationship was handled with much more success in last year’s superior Chasing Amy. This may be a more serious look at such a relationship, but it lacks any depth, due in large part to its stereotypical characters.

At the film’s center, Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd make a cute couple, but they’re not much more than that. Aniston is much more sympathetic than she was in Picture Perfect, yet she doesn’t quite seem up to the dramatic challenges present in this role. Paul Rudd weathers the film better, but is shackled by his bland, unimaginative character.

There are plenty of supporting roles in the film (perhaps a few too many). Most notable are Steve Zahn, as George’s womanizing brother, Kevin Carroll as a kindly, but befuddled, cop, and Nigel Hawthorne, delivering a tragically good performance as an elderly gay theater critic who must cope with an unfaithful young lover.

The film covers quite a bit of territory, and at two hours in length, it feels every bit like it. We’re rushed through the introductory scenes just to get to…nowhere. The middle third of the movie drags on and on, but, thankfully, the film’s delightful coda peps things up a bit.

The Object of My Affection does have its moments, but they are few and far between. Most of the time, the film simply drags along, searching for meaning, but not finding any.

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Nightwatch - * 1/2*

After sitting on the shelf for nearly two years, Ole Bornedal’s remake of his Danish film, Nattevagten, finally hits the screens. It’s too bad it wasn’t worth waiting for…

Martin Bells (Ewan McGregor) is a struggling law student who finds the perfect job. It’s quiet, gives him plenty of time to study, and there’s not much difficult work involved. The downside: it’s at the local morgue, where he’ll be the new night watchman.

The film begins with a whirlwind tour of the facilities, where we know every detail so meticulously pointed out will obviously be of use later in the film. As it is, when a local serial killer begins to fill the place with his victims, and plays mind games with Martin.

And, of course, everyone’s a suspect. The police assume Martin is the murderer, so we can cross him off the list. But there’s Martin’s creepy friend James (Josh Brolin), his semi-creepy girlfriend Katherine (Patricia Arquette), the creepy doctor (Brad Dourif), and the creepy police inspector (Nick Nolte).

Director Bornedal does manage to create an appropriately eerie atmosphere at the morgue. In fact, it seems unfortunate that the mundane serial killer plot has to force its way in and ruin the otherworldly atmosphere.

The “serial killer on the loose” plot is nothing we haven’t seen before. Perhaps when the film was originally made the last remaining ember of freshness still glowed in that particular fire, but the years in-between have long since extinguished it. Nightwatch doesn’t have anything besides its setting to breathe it life, and that just doesn’t quite do it.

Ewan McGregor is amiable as the lead (although he’s strangely ineffectual in the film’s climax). The film certainly doesn’t stretch his range as an actor, however. Nolte is appropriately gruff as the police investigator (though what’s with that haircut?). But actually the standout in the cast is Josh Brolin as Martin’s thrill-seeking friend.

In the end, the film’s implausibilities outweigh any benefit the eerie moodiness of the setting. We’re left with a very typical serial killer mystery, and not a terribly good one.

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Major League: Back to the Minors - *

Major League: Back to the Minors

Well, you just can’t keep a good franchise down…or a bad one from the looks of it. Major League, a mildly amusing film that stretched for it’s first sequel now returns for a third try. However, with most of the original cast absent (most notably Charlie Sheen and Tom Berenger), the Cleveland Indians nowhere in sight, and the shift of focus away from the major league, it’s a pretty big stretch to call this film a sequel.

Corbin Bernsen is the biggest name to return, as Roger Dorn. He helps to run the Minnesota Twins, and needs a new manager for their AAA minor league team, the Buzz. He finds his man in worn-out pitcher Gus Cantrell (Scott Bakula).

However, Gus finds the Buzz is full of misfits (surprise, surprise). There’s only one promising player, Downtown Anderson (Walt Goggis), among the bunch. Though Gus does recruit former Major League players Pedor Cerrano (Dennis Haysbert) and Isuro Tanaka (Takaaki Ishibashi) for his minor league team. Let the wackiness ensue!!!

As you would expect, the Buzz starts out horribly, but then miraculously turns into a good team. So good, in fact, that Gus puts out a challenge to his rival, Leonard Huff (Ted McGinley), manager of the Twins, to pit the minor league Buzz vs. the major league Twins.

You know you’re likely in trouble when a film can’t even attract the likes of Charlie Sheen or Tom Berenger to return, and when a pair of out-of-work tv stars topline the movie, that trouble’s almost certain. To their credit, the filmmakers know their formula cold, but the film doesn’t even make the slightest effort to deviate from the norm.

The jokes they pile upon the film aren’t as bad as they are simply tired. (Hey! A guy gets bonked in the head with a baseball! Whoa! Haven’t seen that one before!) Some of the baseball commentary (by Bob Uecker again) gets a chuckle or two, but it’s not even up to the low standards of the last Major League film.

As the lead, Scott Bakula has some talent, but I hope he’s not trying to showcase it here. He ran through this old formula once before in Unnecessary Roughness (ok, that was football, but the bad-sports-team concept still holds). He doesn’t uncover anything new this time out.

There are no real standouts among the rest of the cast. Each player has his quirk, and there’s not much beyond that. Hardly any of them even rate a personality.

It’s amazing that this one avoided going direct-to-video. There’s no reason to see it on film…in fact, there are several reasons against seeing it at all. But, it isn’t absolutely horrible, and could service as a last-choice rental.

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Paulie - * * *

Paulie

In the wake of Babe, you would expect to be doused by a flood of talking animal movies. Paulie is the first of three we can expect this year (the others including Dr. Dolittle and Babe 2). If the others are as good as Paulie, we’ll be lucky.

The film opens with Misha (Tony Shalhoub), janitor at an animal research company, discovering a parrot in the basement. But this is no ordinary parrot…this is Paulie (voiced by Jay Mohr), and he can talk. Not just mimicking like most parrots, but true intelligent speech. Misha and Paulie become friends, and Paulie tells his tale.

It all started when he was a hatchling. He was bought as a present for a young girl, Marie Allweather (Hallie Kate Eisenberg). She has trouble speaking and few other friends, but Paulie soon becomes her best friend and teacher (helping her overcome her stutter).

But good things never last, and after being blamed for being a bad influence, Paulie is sold. He makes a vow to return to Marie any way he can. The film follows Paulie on his journey, as he meets a wide variety of people. There’s a kind old painter, Ivy (Gena Rowlands), a shifty con-man, Benny (Jay Mohr), a happy-go-lucky restaurateur, Ignacio (Cheech Marin), and a scientist, Dr. Reingold (Bruce Davison).

Overall, the film is cute, and a little oversentimental. The film it most hearkens to is Babe. However, it doesn’t have as strong a sense of magic as the talking pig flick…but Paulie packs a heftier sense of humor.

What really sells the film is the character of Paulie, himself. Many animal films rely completely on the animal’s cuteness to sell itself. Although there are a couple of the requisite “awwww” scenes, the film doesn’t dwell on them. Instead, we get to know and like this parrot as a person. In fact he’s more interesting than the majority of characters that we get to meet in many films today.

Plus, Paulie has quite a cast to back him up. Tony Shalhoub in particular does a noteworthy job as the kindred spirit who lends a sympathetic ear to a talking bird.

There are a couple of cute parrot tricks in the film, particularly those involving an ATM, but not as many as you might expect in a film of this type. The speech effects are convincing, but considering they involve an immobile beak, they don’t seem to have the same finesse as Babe. A minor complaint: we never quite learn why Paulie is so unique. We meet several other animals (even other semi-talking Parrots), and none seem quite so human as Paulie.

The cinematography is not quite as good as it tries to be. For example, there is a sunrise sequence which is supposed to be awe inspiring, but comes off as particularly bland.

But that aside, Paulie is quite entertaining. The film has a heart, and a mind as well.

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The Big One - * * 1/2*

The Big One

Michael Moore, best known for his anti-GM documentary Roger and Me, has set himself up as the working man’s hero. He prides himself in sticking it to corporations where it hurts, and never taking his focus off the little guy. The Big One is his latest documentary (a welcome change of pace after his abysmal Canadian Bacon), and in it, he does what he does best.

During 1996, Moore undertakes a multi-city book tour to promote his book, Downsize This: Random Threats From An Unarmed American. He brings along a film crew, ostensibly to document the tour, but he has another agenda in mind.

Big corporations have been reveling in Wall Street’s billion dollar profits, and yet layoffs and downsizing continue to be the norm. Moore uses his book tour as the basis of a quest to find someone who can tell him why.

As he travels from city to city, the story randomly unfolds. Sometimes he is simply meeting with laid off employees at his book signing. At other times he talks with employees struggling to form a union. And then there are his classic corporate ambushes, where, with film crew in hand, he tries to force his way in to meet with a CEO, to deliver such awards as “Downsizer of the Year”, or a check to pay the first hour of the first Mexican worker in a company’s new plant.

Moore’s corporate humor, while obviously biased, is apt, and the highlight of the film. He stumbles a bit when he ventures into political humor however. The 1996 campaign already seems like the distant past, and is only going to seem more and more dated.

The film is never quite as biting as Roger and Me. Some of this arises from the impromptu feel of the film, but overall his antics seem much more forced here. The “in-your-face” school of journalism is at full force here. A lot of the film is composed of cheap shots…but they’re funny cheap shots.

If you enjoyed Roger and Me, The Big One delivers more of the same (just not in the same dose). Moore’s offbeat brand of humor should have something to slightly amuse nearly anybody, even if you don’t quite agree with his politics.

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Species II - 1/2*

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the movie theater, there, lurking in the corners, leaps out a stupefyingly horrid sequel to 1995’s sci-fi misfire, Species.

Those rascally scientists, not having learned their lesson from the first movie, have recreated Sil…now called Eve (Natasha Henstridge). Under the supervision of Dr. Laura Baker (Marg Helgenberger), this new Eve is calmer and more sedate, but is used as a lab rat to research weapons against future Species-alien attacks.

That disaster scenario is coming true sooner than some have anticipated. The first manned mission to Mars is underway, with a crew including Justin Lazard and Mykelti Williamson. The Martian soil samples they retrieve contain more than dirt…they contain Species DNA samples. When the crew returns, all three may have been infected and are potentially hazardous to their mates. Luckily, NASA has established a 10-day sexual quarantine for interplanetary flights (no, really!).

From there, it all goes downhill (which, since it is one of the opening scenes, is no small trick). Soon, multiple alien sexual predators are on the loose again, each trying to mate to produce the “perfect” offspring. Now that’s one thing that I just don’t quite understand about this movie. Why would this creature, which now has the ability to assimilate people with merely a few strands of its DNA, need to bother with creating a “perfect” offspring. (Disregarding the fact that the offspring of two hybrids wouldn’t necessarily be “pure”). One would think that the creature should just wander around the countryside bleeding. Its pools of blood are apparently sentient, and if they can’t kill humanity…they should be able to merge with it in no time.

But that would assume the movie was trying to make sense. No, this is the movie that has people thinking things like, “Hmm…a crawling pool of blood…I think I’ll walk over and touch it…” The film touts its own stupidity and scientific ignorance as if it were a badge of honor (even though I don’t think the film’s even smart enough to know what a badge is.)

No…the heart of Species and its sequel is: alien sex. Rather than present us with the ultimate femme fatale, as in the original, the sequel instead delivers a series of literally explosive pregnancies. (A strange thing though: all the resulting offspring mysteriously acquire identical grey shirts as their only form of clothing. Maybe it’s another mutation…but then, I’m thinking again. Bad reviewer! Bad reviewer!). The film is chock full of nudity (both human and alien), sex and gore. Heck, if that turns you on…more power to ya.

But don’t go in expecting any great sci-fi action scenes. (Or even tepid ones like the original). No, the brainless attitude of the film destroys any sense of suspense even quicker than your credulity evaporates.

One thing we can, unfortunately, expect is yet another sequel. Like most horror films, this one leaves the door wide open. In fact, it fails to resolve a central point to do so. Gone are the days of the faint rasp of facehuggers crawling after the credits in Aliens…these days the filmmakers don’t care about subtlety, or even resolving the plot… At least they didn’t stoop as low as the mutant rat in the first film (a thread which, thankfully, is never followed upon).

As Marg Helgenberger utters after witnessing a spectacularly gory corpse: “This is awful…just awful.” I couldn’t have said it better.

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My Giant - *

My Giant

Billy Crystal reappears in yet another high concept comedy. He tries to infuse some life into it, but it gets bogged down with sentimentality and a lack of sophistication.

Sammy (Billy Crystal) is a struggling agent at the end of his ropes. He’s separated from his wife, Serena (Kathleen Quinlan), and down to his last serious client…in a low-budget film shooting in Romania. But in a turn of bad luck, Sammy wrecks his car…only to be mysteriously saved by a giant (Gheorghe Muresan).

But this giant has a heart of gold. He leads a solitary life, helping out the monks at a local monastery. His only longing is for his long lost love, Lilianna (Joanna Pacula), who has since moved to America. Sammy, seeing a golden ticket, convinces Max to become an actor (represented by Sammy, of course), and come back to America.

And so Sam and Max bounce from pathetic job to pathetic job, with Sammy dangling a meeting with Lilianna as a carrot before Max’s nose. But slowly Sammy’s deceptions begin to haunt him. But will he develop a conscience before the innocent Max becomes disillusioned.

The humor in My Giant isn’t the world’s greatest. Mostly, it falls under the category of “boy…he’s so big!”, and that can only go so far, no matter how hard the talent tries. Still, its slightly amusing parts are longed for when the movie gets bogged down in sappy moments.

The film’s best moment (and that’s not saying much) is a bit part by Steven Seagal, playing himself. Between Executive Decision and this, all of Seagal’s best roles have been cameos. Maybe he should consider a change of work: Steven Seagal, the character actor!

Gheorghe Muresan isn’t a natural actor at all, and his thick cotton-mouthed accent certainly doesn’t help. In fact the only thing he adds to the role is his immense stature. Originally, the concept was designed several years ago for Andre the Giant. Andre also had a hefty accent, but he displayed a knack for comedy in The Princess Bride…something Muresan should have studied for some pointers.

Why does Billy Crystal continually get caught in these pathetic comedies? He’s proven that he can be much funnier than these formulaic films allow him to be, and yet, like a glutton for punishment, he keeps coming back. That doesn’t mean we have to.

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City of Angels - * * 1/2*

City of Angels

Angels are a hot pop-culture item right now. So it was only a matter of time before someone got around to making an adaptation of Wim Wenders’ film Wings of Desire, about an angel who falls in love with a mortal. Although not a perfect film, City of Angels is perhaps the best Hollywood could do with the story.

Seth (Nicolas Cage) is an angel. He spends his days wandering the earth, with his other angelic kin (including Cassiel, played by Andre Braugher), observing humanity unseen, and helping to comfort mankind. One of the duties of the angels is to accompany the recently deceased to heaven. Obviously, a popular haunt for the angels then are hospitals, and it is there where Seth meets Maggie.

Maggie (Meg Ryan) is a heart surgeon, struggling with the concept of mortality. Even if she does everything right…sometimes she still loses her patients. She begins to lose hope…

But then Seth decides to make himself seen to Maggie. He finds himself falling in love with her, and must decide whether or not to make the ultimate sacrifice: give up being an angel for the brief passion of being human.

Only loosely based on Wings of Desire, City of Angels has a stronger emotional core, but can’t hope to match the former film’s superb visual style. Still, though, City of Angels does create some interesting visuals, but some of them are unintentionally creepy. The legions of black clad angels can’t help but to recall the strangers of Dark City.

But perhaps the biggest difference between the film is the schlock-factor. The film’s new age attitudes range from cute to cuter. Towards the end, the film struggles to grasp some important topics…but the film has never attained the weight needed to deal with anything of substance.

City of Angels also suffers from occasional bouts of misdirection (from director Brad Silberling). The most notable example occurs in its final act, where a critical error treats the audience contemptibly. A crucial twist is grossly mishandled and becomes ridiculous. As a result the emotional climax of the film is muted and loses its depth of meaning. Still, the point of the movie is made, if a bit heavy-handedly.

Nicolas Cage plays most of the film with blinkless moist eyes, but is given a chance to stretch near the end of the film. Meg Ryan’s role is very familiar. Her Maggie is a minor variation on her staple “romantic comedy character”, seen in everything from When Harry Met Sally to Sleepless in Seattle. But the film never quite explains a central question: Why does Maggie fall for Seth? His initial appearances seem rather eerie and disturbing…perhaps a little more development would have been able to explain things.

The supporting cast does a good job here. Andre Braugher does a good job as Seth’s angelic partner. But the true scene stealer here is Dennis Franz as Nathaniel Messenger, one of Maggie’s patients who has keen insights into how the world really works.

City of Angels is far from subtle, hitting you over the head with everything from passion to pathos. You may not respond as strongly as the film intends you to, but it does have its moments.

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