Monthly Archives: April 1996

Cemetery Man - *

Cemetery Man is a very, very strange film that can’t ever find a consistent mood, and ends up being a spotty and repetitive black comedy. Rupert Everett is Francesco Delamorte, a graveyard watchman, who, along with his trusty henchman Gnaghi … Continue reading

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The Truth About Cats and Dogs - * * 1/2*

Nice romantic comedy that’s better than it should be due to the charisma of its stars. Janeane Garofalo stars as Dr. Abby Barnes, a veterinarian who hosts a radio talk show, titled The Truth About Cats and Dogs. Abby is … Continue reading

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The Quest - *

Jean Claude VanDamme, in his directorial debut, returns to his kickboxing roots, and stumbles badly. He mistackles this tale of epic proportions, in which he stars as Chris Dubios, a NY ringleader of a group of child criminals, who accidentally … Continue reading

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Mulholland Falls - * 1/2*

Slow moving and directionless noir thriller. Nick Nolte is Detective Max Hoover, head of the Hat Squad (a fact based group of LA detectives formed in the ’50s to fight organized crime). When the Squad (also including Chazz Palminteri, Michael … Continue reading

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Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie - * * *

The TV show writ large. For those unfamiliar with the concept, the premise is this: An evil scientist, Dr. Clayton Forrester, has hatched an evil plan to take over the world by forcing people to watch bad movies. To perfect … Continue reading

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The Substitute - * *

The Substitute is a bizarre cross between Dangerous Minds and Rambo. The result is a poorly written and barely acted, but crowd-pleasing revenge flick. Tom Berenger is a covert operations specialist, disowned by the government after a mission goes sour. … Continue reading

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Mrs. Winterbourne - * 1/2*

Mrs. Winterbourne is a convoluted remake of No Man of Her Own, that never quite takes off. Ricki Lake stars as a penniless young pregnant girl, Connie Doyle. When Connie accidentally takes the wrong train, she is befriended by Hugh … Continue reading

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Celtic Pride - * 1/2*

Celtic Pride is a rather flimsy comedy centering on the antics of two fanatic basketball fans. Dan Aykroyd and Daniel Stern play the loyal, superstitious fans of the Boston Celtics. When their team makes the playoffs, they are ecstatic; when … Continue reading

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The Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy - *

One long, overdrawn sketch by the cross-dressing comedy troupe The Kids in the Hall. The threadbare plot is as follows: a greedy pharmaceutical company desperate for increased profits releases a miraculous antidepressant that may have nasty side effects. That’s about … Continue reading

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Getting Away with Murder - 1/2*

Hopelessly tasteless comedy that gets off on the wrong foot and never recovers. Dan Aykroyd is a hopelessly moralistic ethics professor who discovers that his neighbor, Jack Lemmon, may be a notorious Nazi mass-murderer. In a sense of indignant outrage, … Continue reading

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