If Lucy Fell - 1/2*

If you’re looking for a limp and humorless comedy, look ye no further. If Lucy Fell is the story of Lucy and Joe (Sarah Jessica Parker and Eric Schaeffer), New York roommates who agree to a death pact: they will jump off the Brooklyn Bridge if they don’t discover deep and meaningful relationships within the next four weeks. Lucy begins by going out with every guy that asks. She eventually settles with an overly pretentious modern artist named Bwick (Ben Stiller). Joe, on the other hand, sets out to pursue the woman of his dreams: Jane (Elle MacPherson), the girl across the street whom he has been watching for the last five years. Don’t let the above description fool you…there’s not an ounce of wit or humor in the entire film. The outcome of the film is obvious from the outset, and there’s nothing on the screen to keep your attention. Writer/director Schaeffer has managed to create a film full of brainless characters whom you will care absolutely nothing about, and who blankly wander around the film’s 93 minutes spouting nonsensical dialogue. The only character with a potential spark of humor (Stiller’s artist), is sabotaged by an overplayed one-note performance. MacPherson demonstrates that she might be a better actress than Cindy Crawford, but has the same appalling lack of judgment when choosing her projects. You’ll thank yourself if you avoid this bland and meaningless attempt at romantic comedy.

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